Stupid is as stupid does

And I don't believe that I did anything stupid on the Soul Buster II. Is that possible??? I am trying a new thing...listen to the coach... It isn't that I do not listen to Steve. I think Steve is the greatest ever!! But I like to listen to what I like and disregard the rest. I have spent a lot of time trying to prove that I can skip stages in my running training. But, it caught up with me and now I am committed to listen to Steve (and to Katie reminding me to listen to Steve!!)

At one of the office hours a while back Mike asked me why I was running after listening to my diatribe on everything that was wrong with my running. I thought about this question for about a week...maybe longer...and I deciphered out every good thing that was a given - my running friends, scenery, being fit, etc. I thought about pure, basic, raw... the act of running. I realized that my reason for running was the same one that got me into it - running makes me feel alive. Breathing, sweating, heart beating running...so alive.

So I thought about this as we all set off on Soul Buster II. Steve had set up a little change in my workout (seeing how I had only 2 20 milers under my belt and still feeling kinda rough.) So I enjoyed my buddies until the 16 mile turn around and then (with a little guilt) watched them head away to run longer. I went to the track and did 2 miles at MGP, 2 miles at HMGP, and then a cool down. No 10K miles and no jog back to Rogue (since John picked me up at the track.) I had that pang of guilt as my girlfriends set off to jog back to Rogue and that little old feeling of inadequacy started to creep back in.

I went over to say bye to my coach before I headed off with John. Steve was all excited that everyone had run SO well and he actually looked kinda proud. So I sheepisly told him that I did what he told me to and that I did not run the 10K miles. I felt ashamed somehow. Then, in Steve fashion he said, "Well good, I knew you weren't ready."

I looked back on my buddies about to run to Rogue as I walked to the car and I thought of how proud I was of all of them too. What an awesome bunch of runners!!! Then I thought about what Steve said and I realized that when he "knew I wasn't ready" that it did not mean that I was a failure. It just meant I wasn't ready YET. I did the workout that he layed out for me. I listened!!! And, I ran 22 miles without having to walk or whine (too much!) I ran the hills, I ran the track, I did what I was supposed to do.

What that means to me: I belong in our awesome group of runners. Very cool.