Gee, it was great to see how well my team mates did at the IBM 10K when I got home from this race. I am looking forward to joining everyone for our next race outing!
I did my own thing with my boyfriend John this past weekend. We both ran in our first 50K at Palo Duro Canyon in the panhandle. Weather was GREAT!! 40s in the morning and 70s in the afternoons (although race day probably hit 80s. It was a long drive (8 hours I think...John drove the whole thing!!) but it was so nice to have the RV to camp in. We stayed at the canyon and enjoyed the scenery, weather, lack of traffic AND cell phone reception, and the great company of fellow runners.
I held on to my race plan for this race...no racing, no Garmin, just do the mileage. I was a little worried about the mileage since I have been having issues with anything above 16 miles and I have only finished 3 20 milers. But, Steve told me to walk it if I had to...just do the miles. I had the perfect day for sticking to plan. I started out at the back (and in the dark!!) for the first two miles but realized that this was not the place to be when one of my buddies told me that the walk/running thing that we were doing had taken 35 minutes to go 2 miles!!!!!! So, we carefully (cactus!!) passed the pack of walk/runners and hit a steady, quiet pace. I stayed at this pace the entire last 29 miles and concentrated on relaxing, ignoring the pain in my feet, and just staying steady. I took my time at the aid stations and thought about what I was eating and drinking. I managed my calories pretty well. I hung out with an over heated runner for a little while. I tried to envision the canyon 100 years ago. It was long but I did (finally) a substantial bunch of miles and was no worse for the wear...
So, this was a good learning experience. I showed myself that I could listen to Steve AND I could relax and think about what I was doing. It was weird though. I know that all of us should try to experience all sides of something if we are to learn all the lessons that we need to know. I thought about this on the way home.
A relaxed "race" is a foreign concept to me. What is relaxed and what is indifferent? I know that I need the lessons of relaxing into my moment or my race pace but will I just get complacent...until I suffer from boredom??? What is this no man's land that I am in?? I am so happy that I completed ALL those miles but knowing that I did not compete seems weird... as if my race was still somehow incomplete. I did not even look at the placings... my old lessons of "you either win or you don't" ever swirling around in the depths of my brain.
Again, I want to learn all these lessons RIGHT NOW because I am impatient. I want to know that I can learn to relax at speed like so many of my buddies are learning to do. I want to know what MY speed is. I want to win. I want, I want, I want...
And then I think about the moment at Palo Duro, on the canyon side of the run. I slowed to round a corner and looked at the red layers of rock on the magnificent canyon wall. I thought about my run on Pike's Peak, when I ran alone above treeline and in my oxygen depraved state felt as if I belonged with that mountain. In that moment, I felt very connected to the strength of that mountain...and I ran home strong and fast.
I did my own thing with my boyfriend John this past weekend. We both ran in our first 50K at Palo Duro Canyon in the panhandle. Weather was GREAT!! 40s in the morning and 70s in the afternoons (although race day probably hit 80s. It was a long drive (8 hours I think...John drove the whole thing!!) but it was so nice to have the RV to camp in. We stayed at the canyon and enjoyed the scenery, weather, lack of traffic AND cell phone reception, and the great company of fellow runners.I held on to my race plan for this race...no racing, no Garmin, just do the mileage. I was a little worried about the mileage since I have been having issues with anything above 16 miles and I have only finished 3 20 milers. But, Steve told me to walk it if I had to...just do the miles. I had the perfect day for sticking to plan. I started out at the back (and in the dark!!) for the first two miles but realized that this was not the place to be when one of my buddies told me that the walk/running thing that we were doing had taken 35 minutes to go 2 miles!!!!!! So, we carefully (cactus!!) passed the pack of walk/runners and hit a steady, quiet pace. I stayed at this pace the entire last 29 miles and concentrated on relaxing, ignoring the pain in my feet, and just staying steady. I took my time at the aid stations and thought about what I was eating and drinking. I managed my calories pretty well. I hung out with an over heated runner for a little while. I tried to envision the canyon 100 years ago. It was long but I did (finally) a substantial bunch of miles and was no worse for the wear...
So, this was a good learning experience. I showed myself that I could listen to Steve AND I could relax and think about what I was doing. It was weird though. I know that all of us should try to experience all sides of something if we are to learn all the lessons that we need to know. I thought about this on the way home.
A relaxed "race" is a foreign concept to me. What is relaxed and what is indifferent? I know that I need the lessons of relaxing into my moment or my race pace but will I just get complacent...until I suffer from boredom??? What is this no man's land that I am in?? I am so happy that I completed ALL those miles but knowing that I did not compete seems weird... as if my race was still somehow incomplete. I did not even look at the placings... my old lessons of "you either win or you don't" ever swirling around in the depths of my brain.
Again, I want to learn all these lessons RIGHT NOW because I am impatient. I want to know that I can learn to relax at speed like so many of my buddies are learning to do. I want to know what MY speed is. I want to win. I want, I want, I want...
And then I think about the moment at Palo Duro, on the canyon side of the run. I slowed to round a corner and looked at the red layers of rock on the magnificent canyon wall. I thought about my run on Pike's Peak, when I ran alone above treeline and in my oxygen depraved state felt as if I belonged with that mountain. In that moment, I felt very connected to the strength of that mountain...and I ran home strong and fast.
I think that this is the relaxation that I am searching for...not a lethargic ho-hum kinda run but a joyful kinda run. Somewhere in the last year of injury, menopause, and just plain being a psycho I had lost that place. What I didn't realize was that I wasn't lost at all... I was just progressing along as I am supposed to. Peaks and valleys... just like running the rollers... I spent last night looking at all the different "practice" marathons that I could run around the country. I plan to keep on rolling...
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