About Me

OMG, suddenly I have a verbal diarrhea (why is that such a vile word no matter how it is used?) of analogies between my horse training (past life) and my running (present life.) Skip all these epiphanies if they bore you but I hope some of you will be inclined to share some of your own with me. Either way, I am enjoying trying to sort out the s--t (no pun intended) that makes me tick.

Kirsten's comment on my previous post elaborated on the importance of "attention" or being present. In looking back, this is something that I had to learn over time in my dealings with horses. It was very easy to demand MY agenda (horses are so giving and easy) and disregard any input from the horse...uh, the one that is actually doing most of the work!! But a sound piece of advice from an old (Xenophon, BC 431 - 350 no kidding!) riding master hung with me: "For what the horse does under compulsion is done without understanding; and there is no beauty in it either, any more than if one should whip and spur a dancer.” And I took that to heart...and I learned to be present with my horses. Focus on that horse in that moment.

Did I apply this great knowledge to myself? NO!!! I didn't have to. I could carefully make EVERYTHING about the horse or its rider. Of course, the horses are quick to show you who you are but that wasn't enough. Between the horse and myself, I was the person I like...friendly, loyal, understanding, a leader, blah, blah, blah. But I did not have to be that way with ME. To myself I could be as rotten and mean and apathetic as I wanted. As long as I could throw a leg over a horse it never had to be ABOUT ME.

Then came running.

So today I did my recovery run over my little 3 mile course at home. I didn't dis myself for only going one loop and I took my dog (she has a heart murmer and I have to keep her slow in the heat) so I would purposely go slow. I thought about how Steve told me that I was not good at this and I struggled to come up with some revelations about recovery runs. I wore my Garmin and started to notice that every time I could feel myself "push" that I zipped right out of my designated recovery run pace. I wasn't doing this for the numbers but for the feel that was escaping me. Finally, I took impulsion (thrust, push, whatever you wanna call it) out of the equation and I do believe that I got a true recovery run...just shakin' out the legs. Wow, first time ever by myself... I think I got it!!!

Now this all may seem pretty stupid to some of you (ok, maybe all of you???) but I am not a good listener (yet.) My method of "being present" in my running was to run until I felt like vomiting and then focus on, "don't puke, don't puke, don't puke..." This was not right. I wasn't "present." I was actually disconnected from my running this way. But today, with my pace steadily in recovery run pace and my head focusing on what that felt like (right down to imagining my muscles stretching and the blood and lymph flowing) well... it was all about MY running...all about ME. And ya know what? That felt good.