Learning

My legs were tired today...no excuse, I did not run yesterday. I think that may have been my problem. I should have run yesterday to shake them out. I have been worried about getting sick again. I got over my last sick bout and now my allergies are crazy!! Don't wanna pull all that stuff in my lungs! Anyway, I planned to do my 6 1mile loops at a pace of 7:15 and ended up with 5 of them around 7:00 pace (thanks Jon!!) The one I actually got right was one I totally concentrated on and tried to run more relaxed. Steve has told me that I am bad at maintaining 1oK pace (the do or die attitude again) so I want to try to learn to do it. Why? I dunno. I guess so I can say that I can. And then, who cares? I will most likely run the way I am made to...balls to wall...

I am one who seems to always learn things the hard way. Getting older has perhaps helped somewhat but I still yam what I yam... Focus is so important but so often it eludes me.

There is so much to learn in life that my brain is on constant stimulation overload! I am bombarded everyday with things I do not know or things I do not remember or things I want to rethink or, or, or... Why can't I turn off NPR, google searches, my penchant for Barnes & Noble, ranting, discussions, etc???? I don't feel much smarter than yesterday but I've read, written, debated, and discussed most of my waking hours. I can't wait to start classes at the University in the spring. At least I will HAVE to focus on these. (That all important GPA ya know.)

So, today I ran one of six in the time that I was supposed to. This may seem like a silly thing to be anxious about but I am on a mission (be it ever so slow.) I wanna learn all of the methods that one practises to be a good runner. I wanna learn about my weaknesses so I can overcome them in this decade. That's right. I wanna cut my learning time in half by slowing down.

HUH??? no, no, no... Not slowing down as in "no Boston qualifier." I mean slowing down in the sense of shutting off the extracurricular brain once in awhile and learning to focus.

I am encouraged. I remember a day about 5 years ago (this is kind of embarassing...even worse that I am sure you guys won't be too surprised) that I realized that I could have more than one emotion in a day. Now this may seem stupid (ok, it is stupid) but I really had no concept that you could be happy and sad in the same 24 hours. I just woke up each day and accepted my fate o' the day. Then I figured it out (ok, I went to therapy...haha) and was overjoyed to find out that not only could I have multiple daily emotions but - in being a girl - it was a totally accepted practise! Very, very cool. This means (to me) that I may actually be able to focus on my workout (say running 10K pace) and then still be my same lunatic the rest of the day. Somehow I find that very relieving and uplifting.

Onward through the fog! Focus 101 - and becoming a better...no, wiser...runner.