Honesty

I ran into Scott M today after my not-so-successful 18 miler. I told him I had started a blog and was linked to his. We talked about this for a bit. He said that at first blogging seemed kinda self serving and egotistical but he had come to appreciate the fact that it worked to keep him honest (mostly with himself!) I agreed with this take. We also agreed that it was inspiring to read others...a big compadre thing. So blog on we shall!

Ok...working to keep myself honest. What a good benefit of blogging! As I walked (again) the last four miles of my miserable attempt at running this morning, I thought a lot about how dishonest I was with myself. Instead of turning off the alarm and staying under the covers this morning I told myself I just didn't feel that bad. I made a pact with myself to turn around if I couldn't breathe well but ignored this too. I made a promise to myself to turn around at the 14 mile turn around and then decided, "what's another four miles??" I told myself that I had to keep up my long runs or I would not reach my goal...I would fail.

I tried to sneak into the parking lot of Barton Springs so I could jump in my car and run off in my own little misery. Alas, Steve was there chatting with Priscilla, Dee, and Andrea...and he was waiting on me to hobble in. After a brief run down on what went on out there Steve said, "Why must you learn everything the hard way??" Well, I dunno. Here I am trying to afford to go back to school in the next year or so to finish a Social Work degree and what is my claim to fame??? I DON'T LISTEN!!! Great asset! Anyway, the 5 of us talked for a little bit and I had to choke down a little more reality. I have to adjust my goals to real time now (not 2 years ago) and I have to listen to my body...50 is not an excuse, (thanks Dee!) it just requires a little more maintenance. Basically, my running is just going to continue to decline if I don't learn to get my head out of my a--!

I guess that leads me to the proverbial question..."Who am I?" Honestly, I guess I just gotta remember, I am the wolf http://www.animaltotem.com/wolf.html and Rogue is my family no matter what speed, form, or age I am.