Thursday, September 4, 2008

A new venture here...

So I decided to jump on in to this blogging thing. Of course, the first thing the site asks from you is to come up with a name. I played around with a few and in my goofing around I decided to look up the Websters Online definition of a rogue. It was perfect. (At least #2 and #3 were!) It read:

2. somebody mischievous: a mischievously playful person, especially a naughty child
3. dangerous solitary animal: a vicious or uncontrolled animal that lives apart from the rest of its herd or group


This is me and this is what my running reminds me of all the time.

I love being a playful, naughty child. It is my nature and running provides so many of the right ingredients. I can trail run through the dirt and weeds! I can be completely drenched in sweat and not brush my hair! I can pee standing up! I can race my buddies! I can run in the road and never use a sidewalk! Running is the freedom for me to be what I love about me!

On to the next definition...a dangerous solitary animal. Running also throws me down the crater of the live volcano known as my darkside soul. This is the part of me that is intensely competitive. It is the part of me that can tear my pysche to shreads if it detects a weakness of any kind. It is what tells me that I am not good enough, not in pain enough, not strong at all. And it tells me I must bear the brunt of all of this with a hard heart and detached mind. Whoa...some heavy stuff...

Thing is, I love Rogue #2. My heart is that person. The more I run, the more I realize that this playful child of mine has to remain a big part of me. It is my freedom. It gives me the freedom to feel how good this feels...how alive this feels. It shows me the importance of taming that dangerous solitary beast of Rogue #3 that would burden me with thoughts of apathy or coldness or inadequacy.

So there you have it. It is all in my name.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Julia,
You are on the path.

MW said...

Julia,
Not sure what path he's talking about.

Priscilla said...

I love the blog, super cool pic!! Yay, you're an official blogger!!