What??

Ok, I haven't blogged in awhile and this is not even about running. It is about football...which I must admit I do not follow closely... All I can say is that there are billions of people in the world. If we think about it, talented football players are (like all of us) a dime a dozen. And yet, there are those among us that think it is just fine to support and watch a penis breathed asswipe like Vick the Dick. Kill a few dogs??? Ok kids, lets admire this dude. What is next? Reformed pedophiles???? Get a grip country!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boston post #1

Not ready for a race report yet...madly studying Physics (well not at the moment but mostly I am...) Besides there are some great ones posted already - Mike's is brilliant!! Just had to say that Boston was beautiful. Great city, good food, chilly but good weather, and wonderful team mates (and John!!!) to spend my time with. The Boston course is perfect for us. Our training is very compatible with the rolling course. And boy, the crowd support is like NO other. What a great race!!

That said, it was the most painful race that I have ever done. (Personal...nothing to do with the course!) By mile 4 I lost control of my left leg and by mile six I had stabbing pains up and down that leg. By mile 13, I did not know how I would do another 13 miles. I ran (never walked!!) the whole time concentrating on breathing through the pain mile by mile...and then minute by minute. But, bitching and moaning aside, my legs managed to keep striding all 26.2. I owe it to 3 main things:

• Steve telling me that I seem to pull out miracles at weird times
• My supportive teammates and the wonderful throngs of Bostonians
• My own adaptation of Emil Zatopek's saying "Today I can die."

This course may think that it kicked my a-- but actually it just fired me up to come back next year. Congrats to all my Rogue buddies!

I love my car...

The driveway to my house!



A closer view...



They were big suckers!!



I saw the storm coming and it was BLACK (and kinda green...) I was hauling ass home from the barn on this little winding country road with the wind blowing and rain pelting my windshield when suddenly the Heavens opened and threw pounds of hail on me. The road turned from asphalt to ice in a second and my car went skidding across the hail balls totally out of control! But good ol' Sabrina (the car) stayed straight and grabbed a tiny piece of asphalt to slow down and stay outta the ditch. I drove (SLOWLY!!) the rest of the way home with hail the size of ping pong balls beating the Hell out of me. Got home and Sabrina looks like she may have weathered all that without (I hope) any dents! (From Physics I have learned that moving through the hail is better than stopping!!) So, my car seems to have saved me AND still maintained her beauty...cool. I can't say the same for the plants out on my deck...poor naked little things...shredded leaves...

An old Irish Blessing...

"May the road rise up to meet you..." came true for me this morning on our run on Shoal Creek.

So...St. Paddy's Day is over, to heck with Irish blessings, I am going with a Lily Tomlin quote:

"The ROAD to success is always under construction."

Ain't that the truth???

Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round

...instead of falling off again!!

Today's run wasn't easy or fast but it was SO much better than last week. Already, my body is responding to the days off and the decrease in mileage. By the time I reached the track (after 20+) I felt ok and Steve let me run the first two MGP miles. The plan had been to run none of the track miles so I was relieved to run a couple and listened when he told me not to run any more... I feel like I can go to my weight workout with a better heart tomorrow (saving my next short run for Tuesday...)

Since I have also been instructed to stay on the trails once a week, I can say that part of my better mood today can likely be attributed to my run on the trails at Rocky Hill Ranch yesterday. Nothing like running in the mud and then downing mimosas and migas with friends to clear the head.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PogKE70oC4

Last night, before I turned in, I watched this "old" Pike's Peak video made by Dan Keitz for our Rogue 2006 Pikes team. I have said that I love to run because I love to compete...and that is true...but this video also reminds me of the childish pleasure I get from romping around with my friends too... Check it out!

Over the mountain!

Well, Steve told me to trail run more this summer so I went ahead and signed up to run the 50K at Lake Tahoe in July. Check out the picture! It just looks like a good idea!!

Da Plan! Da Plan!

Basically 5 weeks to go until Boston and I have cussed and discussed my plan with my coach. I now have a new "let's get through this round of sh-t (again)" plan. Ok, I am good with that. A plan is a plan. No goal for Boston...just run. No fall marathon!!!! (This could be reinstated) Run for fun at Jemez in May and H2C in August. Aim for Boston 2010. Ok, I accept (kinda wholeheartedly) this challenge. The challenge of maintaining a forward focus dictated by my body, my hormones (I guess,) and my overly active brain.

My Plan:

Keep up with the weights 3x a week. (probably need a visit with Mark about that)
Keep my weekly trail run going.
Cut mileage in half or don't even think about it...just get my 20 long in each week.
No quality.
Cut running days to 4 or 5.

I am not disappointed about this new plan. (I was the last time we did something similar) I am relieved. I was scared to take a non running break (I already took 4 days and thought I may need longer) because I am already grumpy and fatter. But I have felt so bad in everyway on every run lately, it was getting to my psyche (you noticed??) and making me really lose sight of any joy in running. So, I look at my new plan and I am relieved. I know that all the "no this and that" is all negotiable. And I think I may actually be able to find some balance with this more compact (I won't say smaller!!) effort.

I have put hours, months, and years into horses that I patched up on numerous occasions throughout their training. No matter what the outcome, it is always worth it. In the words of T.S. Elliot:

"Only those who will risk going too far, can possibly find out how far one can go."

That said, I am headed out to run a little in the mud tomorrow morning and then I will be seeing my team at Sunday's Soul Buster II for my 20 miles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not so Green!

41 degrees, raining, blowing... I drove a 62 mile round trip this morning (20mpg = $6.00!!) to run 8 miles in 41 degrees, raining, blowing...

As I mentioned in my last post, my dog is naked. So, instead of booting her out this morning and hanging in town until my class starts, I let her stay in and came on back home. She was kinda perplexed but is looking pretty smug now while she eats her breakfast in the warmth of the big indoors. Wait...spoke too soon, now she wants out... I bet that won't last too long!

I have a driving day today. School (back to town) the barn (up to Leander) happy hour (back to town) home (Jonestown) Today I am the ungreenest driver ever...

On the up side, it was great (ok, kinda cold too) running with my teammates this morning who were also psycho enough to be out in the elements. Hail (not the frozen stuff!!) Team Rogue.

Uh oh...

I shaved Emma's hair (my dog) all off and tomorrow's high is 45. uh oh... She comes in at night if she feels like it but generally she lives outside. Guess I better make a "crate fort" to put in the carport for her while I am gone tomorrow. She would have a stroke if I leave her inside by herself... Sonething she would have to get used to if we move into a condo!! Meanwhile Cain, my neighbor's big male rottweiler, (our yards connect) wants to come in but Emma is having nothing of it. She has been out cruising her posts for the last hour and growling at Cain (who can whip her butt by the way) every time he ventures up to the door to ask to come in... crazy dog...

Running on Empty?

I studied algebra for 8 hours straight today. OMG Sadie, how did you do this??? I was so stressed, I ate a buncha Ben & Jerry's ice cream and I murdered a bee. A bee!! The ones that pollinate our world and keep us from dying! His little body is still on my counter (I killed him by setting the honey jar on top of him of all things...) and I keep hoping he will somehow leap up and fly off.

Anyway, I had to stop and move on to more pertinent things (than my stupid midterm tomorrow) that involved my most important running issues. I have been reading about overtraining for awhile since I seem to be easily prone. Have I not ever fully recovered from the first bout? Dunno.

So anyway, I found this article on some easy focus points for team runners/competitors. It was talking about how successful competitors had a pretty good grip on the three "Cs" which are Challenge, Commitment, and Control.

It was kinda interesting to me because I know that I need a break but I look at that as weak or being a quitter. (ok, stupid I know.) And simplifying it in this way makes me feel better because I have one of the three "Cs" on track (more or less!!)

Commitment to me is a no brainer. I have a goal. I have a huge support group. This is the easy part...and I am sure will be the cork that keeps my head above water for as long as it takes. Or in the words of Rooster Cogburn, "I ain't dead yet."

Challenge and control are...well...kinda outta control. But this gives me more of a clear idea of what to work on. My runs are not a challenge right now. I don't feel challenged...I feel exhausted, defensive, and apathetic. Feel like I am fighting a battle with a sapling twig... time to head back to the castle and sharpen the sword. As for control, I am an emotional roller coaster and one (or maybe two) steps shy of sitting on a rock drooling...can't sleep, only wanna eat sugar, and just all out bitchy. I am thinking that perhaps a round of massages and that mystic soothing music are in order... perhaps a glass of wine. (I've heard red wine will kinda counteract all that sugar in your system...)

I plan on no running for ???? days. I plan on having a new plan. One thing is certain. The goal remains the same.

No Whining!!

I am over my limit of melt downs so I decided that I better do something else! The only reasonable thing to do is to take responsibility for myself...dammit... Today's run was another trudger...and I resorted to run / walking for half of the time out there. But, I guess I am now listening LOUD and CLEAR to my body and it is time for a redo on the current plan (again.) And why not? Isn't that how we all ultimately figure this stuff out??

Unlike my last (?????) blogs, this one is not to whine or vent. I am writing mostly to remind myself of what I am doing now and how this feels. If, by some chance, any of this makes a connection to anyone else then consider yourself a compadre and use my struggle to "find my own self" to encourage you to forge your own way. In the words of Gloria Gaynor, "I will survive!"

So today, as with Thursday and most of my runs in the last 6 weeks, was very dragging. I actually couldn't even get going enough today to breathe hard. My feet felt as though I was bogged down in deep mud or that my feet were somehow magnetized to the roadway.

My entire gait has changed. There is no bound or thrust. I only feel my quads working to pull each leg a little forward until the shoe skids along the road to stop with a clunk while the next leg is being heaved forward. I suppose this is heavy legs to the max. So heavy that at times I just HAVE to walk for a minute for fear that the leg isn't gonna pull enough forward to keep from falling on my face.

Why am I sliding back in that "over training" hole I was just climbing out of?? I have been so good! But...maybe not... Why must I fixate on what I am "supposed" to do instead of what I should do? Why am I frantic? When will my hormone rushes get under control? When will I feel rested? What if I am incapable of working hard anymore? What if I go completely crazy?????????????

Well, let's see... I can't answer all (or any!) of that stuff up there! But I can (kinda!) control the crazy part...by taking responsibility for myself and (as Geezer pointed out) letting my running save me (if I will let it.)

There are 6 weeks to go until Boston. I need a vacation before then. I seem to have run out of run... Yes, I will be heading down to office hours on Monday to ask the coach what game plan I should follow. Time to start over. Stella (Julia) wants her grove back dammit.

Rockin' Rollers

I was thinking about my Uncle Harry today on the run. The run was hard. I was having issues...what's new, huh???? I got almost to the end of Balcones and just stopped, turned around, and headed home. (yeah, back down Balcones...I am an idiot, what can I say?)

Anyway, back to Harry, my uncle lived in a little cottage in England all covered with vines and basically invisible...even from the front gate. Harry was a scientist and an author (something about semi-micro organic organisms.) He was a very smart dude. But he hid out in his little cottage. We visited some, or he would forget to eat. He was polite but relieved when we got up to go. Harry was sensitive. He fretted over things out of his control. He was completely distraught over the use of the metric system...no scientist in their right mind would do such a thing... So, was Harry in his right mind? Basically, he got tired of living somewhere along in his eighties and starved himself to death (all the delivered dinners were in the fridge and the closet...)

Ok, so as I ran (trotted) back to my car UP and DOWN, UP and DOWN, I was wondering what in the Hell I was doing out there! Why was I running??? I admit. I was thinking that this was ONE thing in my life that I should be able to control! It is just me and the pavement! I buy new shoes (a lot!!) I eat well, try to sleep enough, go to the gym... I have such good friends and such an inspirational group to run with. I chat and blog away to everybody! Yet, it is out of my control.

And that drives me crazy!

I've thought about this...I run because I love to compete. I love to see what I can do. I love to win. With running it is so raw. It isn't about the horse or the tack or the judges... it is about YOU. I like that.

I keep getting passed. I keep fading out. I keep pounding the ground harder and harder. I am out of control... I even considered blowing off Boston this year.

But, right about that time Angie came by and invited me to run the rest of the way in with her. Got to the Springs where my friends were and was unable to hide in my car or run off cause everyone was all chatty. Got to the coffee shop and had a "how are ya" text from Brenda. Guess I will see everyone on Saturday. What the Hell, who needs control?? Livin' on the edge...

White Bird

So this afternoon, I left my Physics class and headed out onto Lamar to venture homeward. The wind was blowing like crazy. While I sat at the light to turn west on 6th Street, a white bird flashed by my car and sat down on the grass next to me. It was pure white and beautiful. I noticed that it was a dove, and not a pigeon as I originally thought. The lovely face and slim neck was illuminated by its bright color. I immediately decided it was a girl and wondered where she came from...unusual to see white doves flying about here. Then I remembered, it is my mom's birthday today. And in my own weirdo little way, I guess this was the gift she sent to me. And as I drove along, the song "White Bird" by Its a Beautiful Day played in my head.

"The sunsets come, the sunsets go.
The clouds roll by,and the earth turns old.
And the young bird's eyes do always glow."

Happy Birthday Mom...

Warhurst Was Work!

I ran within where I should have so I guess that works for me! Still battling hamstring cramping and fatigue issues but my girlfriends kept me on track...

1 mile (7:20 - 7:50 pace) 1200 at 10K (5:24)

7:34 5:10
7:35 5:15
7:43 5:17
7:40 5:25
7:45 5:25

So... I did stay in my range and I am pleased about that. These are not as fast as the Warhurst from the past (haven't run this since Performance Project) but probably faster than they would have been last fall. It would be nice to say that I ran like most of my buddies and had much better times but it is what it is! I am proud of everyone's efforts and times this morning and I am happy that I get to keep pulling off of all their energy!

Happy Trails!

Sunday was a fun trail run...down in the trees away from the wind and with a buncha friends! Big breakfast after at Waterloo totally hit the spot.

This was COMPLETELY different from my Saturday run where I could barely move. After that run (another "run of pain") I came home and double dosed on Calcium/Magnesium. Whether that was the magic bullet for Sunday or not time will tell. All I can say is that I ran without the debilitating cramping that I have had for 3 weeks. Hmmmmmmmmmm.........

And I bought new shoes!!! Real purdy blue ones! Great day!

Wonder Of It All!!

This is Audrey... A 1989 Mercedes 560SL...you may have seen her this morning. She is what I want to be. Older, but a classic beauty. And when you hit the gas petal...she is a rocket!

The repeated attempts (and successes) of my squirrel buddies to jump onto the bird feeder are truly amazing...running Spiderman up the wall, super squirrel leaps from the potted plants... unreal. I have increased my squirrel food lay outs today (it is cold and windy!!) because I understand needing a little perk now and again...

My own repeated attempts at getting my running grove back are seeming more and more Herculean as the road blocks just keep on a comin'. I have added & subtracted miles, googled, relaxed, and whirlpooled. I have gymed, Happy Office Houred, blogged, and Meredithed. My last resolution was to work on sleeping and I have had some successes at 7 and 8 hour nights in the last couple of weeks. Still, I cannot seem to recover.

So... while maintaining my watch items above (and buying NEW SHOES - which are certainly a necessity,) I have decided to toy around a little with vitamin or mineral supplementation. Been there once before... with a little iron depletion so I know some things are indeed necessary. I don't actually know what I am doing with this AND I know you can cause yourself some problems with this but damn... don't have any other ideas at this point!!!!

Since having the flu (or whatever) a month ago, I have had a UI (TMI!!) and now have an abcessed tooth. SOMETHING is going on with my bitching (and not in a good way!) body!!! All my running in this month has been a test in pain management...cramping, fatigue, etc... I don't think the health issues are the cause. I think it is the other way around. So, after much research (again!) I am contemplating Magnesium supplementation. If any of you have any input on that I would be interested.

There is a lot to learn about one's own physical body. Geez!!! I won't even attempt to figure out my mental side...don't have that many years left for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just trying to be like Audrey...that's all...

Sleep my Pretty! Sleep!

heh, heh, heh, heh... Is what the Wicked Witch said as Dorothy walked through the fields of poisoned poppies. No wonder we all have screwed up ideas about sleep.

Last night I got 8 hours! No Hospice patient today either so I am lounging about drinking a really good Americano and NOT doing my homework. Gosh, maybe sleep makes you sassy. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so.

To Thyself Be True...

Or just know yourself. My comment from Steve this morning about my upcoming birthday (on Soul Buster day no less!!!!!!!!) was that maybe this would be the year (or decade) that I learn how to train effectively. So after the tempo run this morning I went to him and told him what I should have a week ago... I am exhausted. At first I thought it was just from being sick (and I am sure that did not help) but he (once again) pointed out how easily I overtrain. "Don't go back down in that hole you were in," he said to me.

So...dammit...to Hell...here I am thinking about how to get unexhausted. I am not pissed (well, not too much) but why does my body send me no clues until I feel (in the words of Seba) like I have been beaten by angry, drunken midgets wielding large wooden mallets???? Perhaps, as I have heard before, I don't listen?? So... next mission in my training education (the last one was LISTEN to the coach) is to try to listen to myself.

I am a horse trainer and riding teacher by trade... I have been at it for SO long that I am confident and good at my job. I always try to revert back to that thinking when I run into these stumbling blocks in my "new athletic career" as a runner. So I thought about my horse training methodology. And, despite the fact that most horses are more self aware (and perhaps smarter) than I am, I just considered the application.

7 tips to training:

1. Know horses
2. Know YOUR horse
3. Get its attention
4. Reward and Punishment
5. Repetition
6. Consistency
7. NEVER lose your temper

So I thought about this and applied it to myself. Know about training runners. Know about ME. Pay attention to ME. Realize that it is ok (and necessary) to rest. Don't repeat stupid things, do repeat what works. Be consistent in training for the big picture and stay in focus on that. And, as for never losing your temper...to thyself be true.

So today I am sore, tired, and pissy. But maybe this is the warning I have to listen to. I am not who I was yesterday and not who I will be tomorrow. I am not any of my team mates...no matter how much I feel connected to them... I am me and I am responsible for my own training which has to be special for me. As a kid, I got bucked off many, many horses and always got back on. As I got older (and kinda smarter) I figured out how to not get bucked off (since it hurt more than it used to!!) I am gonna run like that...I am gonna try to minimize hitting the dirt as much as possible!

Time to go now... I need my rest!!!

Darwin Day

It is Darwin's 200th bithday today...and about 150 years since he published his "Origin of Species" book with his theories of Evolution. I find this quite interesting for two reasons... first of all, 150 years is not so long ago, about a lifetime and a half...second of all, I was raised (with a strong set of morals) but completely devoid of any type of religion. I was introduced to many world religions in my travels - both as a kid and as an adult - but my homelife never included any indoctrination into one. So...CNN's article on Darwin states that their independent poll on the subject shows that only 14% of Americans believe in Evolution. I find this fasinating and I wish it wasn't such a politically incorrect subject to discuss. Just the fact that this surprises the Hell out of me, tells me that I still have a lot to learn about human nature. Another topic for the long runs?? I dunno. Have we evoled enough emotionally to discuss subjects like this? I can't help but be curious...respectfully curious...

Slogging good time...not!!

Today was my first run post fever and chills week. I did 10 miles of the long run and it was pretty yukky! So much for having fresh legs from not running all week! I think my body fighting infection made me more tired than any of my training! Anyway, it was not pretty (or fun!) but I got through the gale force winds to do it. Hopefully I will have a little better "sea legs" before the marathon next weekend. I am still hacking like a smoker but it is better. I have to say... I was never sick this often (or this bad!) when I did not eat meat. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

School has also been busy for me. Math sucks (still) and I am trying to get through it without shooting myself. The only upside is that it makes my Physics class a little less painful (at least that isn't ALL math.) And I am sorry Sadie...I know you think math is cool. Ugh... I like poetry.

Two more weeks til my birthday. I was planning to do a big shindig but I haven't had the energy for it... esp. now that there is a mandatory Soul Buster that day! I am gonna be 50 this year. That seems a little weird still. I mean, I am ok with it and stuff. And, I know that it really isn't THAT old but... I just don't really know how it happened! Last thing I remember I was about 19! Anyway, just thinking about it. Downside...my dad died at 62. Upside...I am in a new age group now :)

Looking forward to next week and getting back to normal...whatever that is!!